Posted by: txaggiechick | July 11, 2007

Embracing the right choices

Many of you have patiently listened for hours as I have complained on and on about my job. What I have failed to realize is that while I’m complaining to you, I’m not asserting myself to the people who actually influence the decisions at my job. You have all patiently helped me see that while I rock at certain things, asserting myself when I do not want to do something or don’t have the time is not my forte. Thus I have a tendency in attempting to please everyone else  of displeasing myself. I have created my own monster.

I have a point with this post. Really. So bare with me. Today. I was faced with a decision. A crossroads. I could choose to continue down the career path that I have chosen for the last 5 years with this one company or I could choose a new company and try a new position. Unfortunately I’m still the same person in both situations.  I am still the girl who would do anything to help anyone out with whatever they need even to my own detriment. I am still the girl that gets up in the morning to tackle the world and OWN it. I’m still the one who thrives on challenges and helping people. I’m still that girl. A new job with new people and new challenges is not going to help me achieve the goals of being able to say NO when I do not have the time, energy, or resources to do as requested.

It was really hard for me to turn down this opportunity as I had almost convinced myself that with the extra money, stock options, and new position I would have the opportunity to become a new person. I would somehow be magically different. But that’s not true. I love the people I work with. Sometimes they kill me with their demands and their crazy politics. However this company is a part of me for now. I still have a lot of growing and learning to do and right now I need to create a stable, positive environment in which to achieve these goals. So I chose. I chose to embrace the career choice I have had for the last 5 years. I chose not to move again (for now). I chose to stick it out for another 6 months to allow me some time to heal my heart and create a semblance of normalness. I’ll probably do a 180 before the year’s out but for right now, THIS is the right decision for me. It’s just up to me to make the most of it and help me realize that there is so much opportunity OUTSIDE of work to cultivate the loving and positive life that I want.

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