Posted by: txaggiechick | December 18, 2007

Who talks like this? Seriously.

I just received an email from the UK Deloitte fuckers who are processing my tax returns. I get an email from them that states:

Dear Lindi

In order that we can commence work preparing your 2006-07 UK tax return on your behalf, I should be grateful if you could complete the attached excel organiser and calendar for the UK tax year ended 5 April 2007 and return them to myself and Daniel (copied above) via email.

<<Paper Organiser 2006-07 NON DOMICILED.xls>> <<Calendar2006-07.xls>> <<No Additional Information.doc>>

Also attached is a copy of our standard disclaimer which I should be grateful if you could also sign and date before returning to us. This simply states that the information provided to us on your organiser is all the information that is relevant to your 2006-07 UK tax return.

Your tax return is due to be submitted to HM Revenue and Customs before the end of January 2008 and I should therefore be grateful if you could provide us with this information as soon as possible, preferably by the end of this week.

If you require any assistance in completing these forms, please do not hesitate to contact either myself or ___.

I look forward to receiving your organiser, calendar and disclaimer from you in due course.

With kind regards

By the way, this excel spreadsheet is like 25 tabs of crap that I have to fill out including aspects of my life that are completely pointless to the British government. What the hell is wrong with these people? I am so glad to be rid of that fucking country… well except for the fact that I have to go back there in January to finish up some work for Reuters. Holy hell.



  1. I know *exactly* who talks like that, I see it every day. I’m still amazed that through all that somehow you didn’t get a single “please do the needful”. I’m also a bit surprised that not once did they “have a doubt” about your tax situation.

  2. I work in an accounting firm. I have to write emails like that a lot.

    Deloitte is asking you for all that stuff in order to make your return easier to do. The easier it is for them, the last time it will take to do. And that will reduce your tax bill.

    The tone is a completely different issue. That’s all about saving your ass when someone complains about service. The accountant will be able to use that email as evidence that he was being courteous. It’s a big perception game.

    Also watch out for people who call you when you’re not out, leave a message on your answering machine and then email you to say they left a message. These people know how to game the system.

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