Posted by: txaggiechick | October 26, 2008

Confronting Fear

Fear is a natural condition. It’s part of the human condition to teach you to shy away from things that are going to harm you in some way shape or form only to get you to run in the other direction. For some of us, we fear getting in front of people and publicly speaking. It might be stepping out of your comfort zone and trying something new. Some fear is good in natural response to predators like being confronted with nasty, snarling wolves. *rawr* I would much rather face a pack of hungry wolves than do what I did last week. But I did it anyway. And I’m still standing, which is a big surprise to me.

For me, my fear manifests itself in telling someone how I really feel about them. It makes me vulnerable. And I don’t like being vulnerable. I would much rather twirl away dancing in the wind pretending like it doesn’t matter and that I don’t care than face my fear and tell him how I feel. I don’t get scared or fearful when giving a presentation in front of hundreds or thousands of people. Nope. No fear. Steady as a rock. I don’t get scared when jumping out of airplanes. I actually enjoy SCUBA diving and can’t wait to face some Great Whites. I can get on an airplane, fly thousands of miles, drop kick myself into an environment where I know no one and be just fine and dandy… but to admit that I love someone… to look him in the eyes and be vulnerable … THAT… THAT is scary. *shudder* But I did it. And I meant it. And I still mean it. And what’s even better, I survived. I don’t think I did it very well. I fumbled the ball on the 2 yard line but had possession when I crossed the goal line. I said it out loud and looked him in the eye. But i was nervous as all get-out. I consider it a clumsy touchdown but a touchdown nonetheless. I’ll get better at this. Promise. Honesty afterall is the greatest policy.

I’m okay that he doesn’t love me back. I have been acting all sorts of nervous and not myself around him lately. I knew that to begin with. I am working on just being confident in who I am and just being myself. But what I really wanted him to understand is that I see him for who he is and I care. I truly do. And I hope that he appreciates at least me telling him that and maybe one day it’ll sink in. He deserves to be loved! And it’s a mere coincidence that the very next day I had a massive allergic reaction to something that caused my face to swell like Will Smith’s in Hitch. For real yo. I was red and looked like I had swallowed a red balloon! But it’s gone now.

In the interim, I am surrounded by some great friends and family that see me for who I am and appreciate and respect me. I am truly blessed. So I’m busy, confronting my fears and discovering that there’s a lot more to this amazing woman inside of me than I ever realized. So in conclusion, I’ll include a few quotes that inspired me to confront this fear and will help me get through the next fears.

A woman is like a tea bag- you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water.
Eleanor Roosevelt

The only man who makes no mistakes is the man who never does anything.
Theodore Roosevelt

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you
really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing you think you cannot
do.
-Elanor Roosevelt

Those Roosevelt people were really smart huh?

and as Metallica always says… No Remorse. No Repent.

What are your fears? My latest one is confronting my weight issues. I have actually discovered why I have always struggled with my weight and am working slowly on confronting those issues. It’s going to take work to correct how I think about myself but I’ve got the right tools in place now to accomplish this goal and realize my dreams of a healthy, active lifestyle. Any fears you’re confronting? Today’s a new day to challenge yourself ! So go for it! You might just be surprised at what you find out.

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